LOVEBOMBING SETS THE STAGE FOR EMOTIONAL ABUSE

 

Love bombing is a psychological manipulation tactic where someone shows excessive attention, admiration, and affection. The too-good-to-be-true kind of feeling. This happens often very early in a relationship in order to win over the other person. 

If you recently met someone that admires you and the person is overly kind to you with courtesies, text messages, lunch or dinner dates, gifts, and other forms of generosity, beware of love bombing!

How do you know it is love bombing?

Give a second thought to any love that is too good to be true. This does not mean there are no genuine people, but there are people that lovebomb others to take advantage of them. They start by expressing an interest in you. There is no harm in that, right? Next, they are good listeners, and they give you the attention that you seek. This is an important part of their strategy so they understand your likes and desires. When they know you very well, then they play the lovebomb game to ensure they win you over by all means. If you are not careful, you may make decisions that are lower than your intelligence quotient.

Watch out for the following red flags:

• Overwhelming compliments and declarations of love or likeness very early
• Constant texting or calling, often appreciating immediate responses
• Grand gestures that feels too kind or generous
• Push for quick commitments, for example, move in, getting engaged, relationship commitment, etc.
• Discouraging you from seeing friends and family
• Shifting quickly to criticism or withdrawal if you pull away or set boundaries

Why is love bombing a red flag?

Love bombing mimics genuine affection, but it ends in bitter tears. You end up further wounded. The reasons why someone will love bomb you are to:

• Build emotional dependency
• Isolate the other person
• Set the stage for emotional abuse or control
• Create confusion when the behaviour suddenly changes

Anyone that love bombs does not have a good intention towards you. The person is most likely a manipulator and an opportunist. What is important is your ability to discern a set of actions as love bombing. Beware that love bombing can go on for as long as the person benefitting continues to benefit.

Anytime you discover that what seems like true affection is love bombing, do not hesitate to end the relationship. Be prepared; the love bomber will always play the victim. Do not be swayed; he or she knows what he or she is doing. Do not be played any further. Most people that love bomb others are narcissists, opportunists, or into sex magic.

Remember to always take your time to grow in affection and love. Love blossoms naturally. It shouldn't feel too fast, and the other partner shouldn't pull away when you set boundaries. If it is truly affection or love as they claim, they will wait for you. Do not be rushed into being ready to accept love.

Do you feel confused and need someone to give you some clarity? Send me an email: auntiegbemi@gmail.com.